“Gender” was not a new word for me, but I had missed out on the meaning of the word which was used every time we had to fill up forms, applications and documents.
I have assumed gender just meant an identity of a girl and a boy but meaning was so much deeper than that. It was a social definition of a girl and a boy.
When I say social definition, we do not feel anything is wrong in Bhutan because girls and boys are given the same opportunity. Even the first baseline study on gender conducted by UN agency in 2001 revealed that Bhutan enjoyed a generally high level of gender equality. The study said that only “some subtle and indirect forms of gender bias exist,” but I feel there is much more than what has been mentioned in this report.
In Bhutan, there is gender inequality in religion, customs and tradition, jobs, public spaces, domestic homes, things, objects, clothes, appearance, marriage, paintings, talking and the list can go on.
A girl cannot come home late while it is acceptable for a boy. She cannot go to genkhangs while visiting monasteries while he can. There are huge paintings of penis on almost every house but a girl’s private part which is not even exposed is impure. He can play with guns but she has to play with dolls because guns are “for” boys.
In a way it is something to do with the society and our upbringing. There is a lot of gendering at our homes starting from childhood.
When a girl is born, the mothers dress them in bright colours but if it is a boy, they will go for darker colours.
Girls are taught how to cook while their brother can go and play, girls are given dolls while brothers play with cars and guns, girls are told not to offer water at the alter during mensuration because I we are impure. Girls are told not to play boy’s games or climb trees because it is for boys. Similarly when my boys do not like playing football their fathers pressurise them because he is a boy. If his voice was small and not clears he is tagged as a girl. If boys like getting dressed like a girl and wearing ornaments they are told not to and I don’t think any mother in Bhutan wants her son to grow up like a girl. It worries mother if their sons do not act like, the so called societal behaviours of, sons but why do we do this?
Why do we gender girl and boy? Why can’t a boy dress like a girl if he wants to and vice versa?
The government has given women equal opportunity to do anything but at the back of our mind-sets women will always remain a house maker. She can go out and work but when she gets home she still has to carry the responsibility of being a women by cooking for her family or cleaning the house. While a working men is not expected to do house hold chores.
Gender is embedded in our society and will be difficult to remove
